Being single doesn’t mean missing out on the high school experience. Especially during homecoming season, many teenagers feel like everyone around them is going head over heels for each other while others are left behind. Romantic comedies and the media have fed teenagers the idea that the source of people’s happiness in life comes from falling in love. While love can have a positive effect on a person, that is not the only thing to look forward to in high school. However, blank pages are left for many teenagers that haven’t experienced a romantic relationship. Teens feel the burdens of the lack of experience in romantic relationships and often feel like the lack of a partner reflects on the negative parts of themselves.
Growing up, self-fulfillment is such a vital lesson to learn as one transitions from childhood to their teenage years. Today, not being in a relationship feels like rejection. Hovering like poisonous fog, the negative thoughts start to circulate from that lack of attention and the fear of being unwanted becomes prominent. Many teenagers feel as though they have to follow a concrete checklist to survive high school: go to prom with the football team captain, be valedictorian, get into college and have a certain friend group. However, it is okay if teens don’t have a whirlwind life like in 2000s movies where they dance in the rain while violins play in the background. In a teenager’s perspective, however, not getting those movie-like moments can lead to an increase in insecurities and doubts of self-worth.
Students often feel like they are doing something wrong if they aren’t in a highschool relationship as a result of media and peer influence. The feeling of missing out often overtakes the minds of teenagers. However, they need to realize that it’s okay to be single in these pivotal years where you are figuring out who you are. In high school, it can feel like the sky is falling and life is against you, so we have to learn that having a partner or not having a partner does not dictate or diminish individual self-worth or value.
Additionally, teenagers need to reflect on the importance of having a relationship with themselves. Just because love is blossoming around you doesn’t mean your life isn’t starting to bud. Teenagers are fully capable of the love they want and deserve, some just experience those connections on a different timeline compared to others. The seasons will change, fall leaves will blow into the chill of the winters, spring will bring new awakenings and summer will come with adventures. No matter what season of life each individual is at, there is love all around them. Whether that’s the old couple people see on the bench holding hands, the shared laughter between friends, the excitement in someone’s eyes when they talk about something they are passionate about or dancing to music with friends. If people look for it, love surrounds individuals with a warm embrace. Whether it’s platonic or romantic, love will come on its own time.
Furthermore, the yearning for a soft, genuine love is not a unique battle. Everyone sometimes feels like they want a relationship like those in the movies. However, there is this lie we embedded within ourselves like a tattoo, inked on our skin for what feels like a lifetime. We whisper that we are undeserving of this love we yearn for because of the lack of romantic attention from people. However, teenagers need to realize that not having a relationship in highschool isn’t the end of the world. In these years, teens can learn the vital skills of independence and self sufficiency without relying on anyone else.
Students and teens need to practice acts of self-improvement during these pivotal times of insecurities that flood our minds. Self-love is a battle many teens fight on the frontlines of. In times where teens feel overwhelmed with the lack of a desired relationship, practice mindfulness and celebrate the present. The future can hold so much power if we let today be today and tomorrow be tomorrow. If teens look in the mirror, thousands of raging negativities will darken the room, but if they constantly look into the mirror every day, teens will find simple parts of themselves they love. Many students need to remember that they can’t forget who they are in the process of becoming who they want to be.
Lastly, having a partner in high school doesn’t measure the extreme value you offer to this world. Teenagers need to learn to be patient while waiting for love. There is no need to stress about finding a forever partner when teenagers are just figuring out who they are. Being single is a gift. It grants people the chance to find affirmations of self-confidence. Teenagers can find that they have room left in the story to find themselves, explore new hobbies and decide who they want to be before putting another person before them. Teens need to remember that even when there are tables of twos surrounding them, they can still find fulfillment in their table for one. Love is a total drama queen. It’s just waiting to make an entrance.
