A swarm of life advice on a multitude of topics, ranging from “get ready with me” style videos, college advice and relationship advice targets young girls on popular platforms such as TikTok or Instagram. But at some point, there needs to be a reality check and a reframe of the mindset viewers are being forced fed by influencers wanting nothing but a paycheck.
Uneducated popular TikTokTik Tok advice and a healthy reframe:
“If they wanted to, they would.” Reframe: They can’t show up for needs they don’t know exist. Expecting people to read your mind sets relationships up for failure. Expressing your needs clearly gives your partner a chance to meet them.
“Never settle.” Reframe: Love isn’t about perfection;, it’s about commitment and compatibility. Chasing the idea of the perfect partner often leaves people emotionally unavailable. Real love accepts flaws and chooses connection anyway. Love is a choice, not a feeling.
“Just focus on becoming that girl.” Reframe: You weren’t made to become her;, you can just be yourself. Social media will have you chasing aesthetics and trends, but real confidence comes from who you are. Purpose trumps perfection.
“You don’t need anyone.” Reframe: Independence is powerful, but connection is human. Social media pushes hyper-independence, especially to women. But needing love, support or partnership doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
“You’re not confident if you don’t post yourself all the time.” Reframe: Confidence isn’t always loud. Sometimes, the most grounded women are the ones not broadcasting everything.
“You don’t have to change for anyone.” Reframe: You shouldn’t change who you are, but you should grow with someone. Healthy relationships and friendships reflect your triggers and patterns. You’re not supposed to lose yourself, but you are supposed to evolve together.
“You’d be so much prettier with work done.” Reframe: You’re not a “before” photo. Social media profits off insecurity. You don’t have to change your face to be beautiful. Confidence is magnetic, and no filter can compete with someone who owns their natural beauty.
“Once you’re in a relationship, you don’t need anyone else.” Reframe: Romantic love isn’t a replacement for deep friendship. Your friends are important. Don’t let a relationship pull you away from people who know your heart. Keep your friendships rooted because they last through every season.
“Normalize cutting people off.” Reframe: Not every hard moment means you should walk away. Social media glorifies cutting people off the second things get uncomfortable. But real growth happens in the middle of hard conversations, forgiveness and patience. Some relationships are worth fighting for.
“Work all the time or get left behind.” Reframe: You weren’t created to live in survival mode. Hustle culture causes burnout. Real success includes rest, joy and a life you actually have time to enjoy.
You are not a project to constantly be worked on. Put down the weight of self-helpself help books that are shoved at us. You do not have to constantly fix yourself for the end goal of being all the same. Going through hardships is human, and we cannot cover that up with botox or surgery like beauty imperfections.
Social media can cause us to lose focus on healthy versions of ourselves, but you have to remind yourself that the over-romanticism of life isn’t good for you. At some point, you have to choose to be unfiltered.
